Invalidating people dating paragon transits
When people say that relationships take work, they mean maintaining that constant balance of each other's emotions.
Your partner avoiding the "work" in the relationship is like wanting to have his cake and eat it, too.
It's a quiet erosion of your value in the relationship.
This is not an issue unique to Borderline Personality Disorder - this happens in all types of relationship - and we often do it, too.
The concepts of "not invalidating people" and the concept of "being validating" are really easy to grasp, intellectually.
In practice, however, many of us fumble with this life skill.
Invalidation is often very subtle - we don't even realize we are doing it.